For this child I prayed...

As women who face the daily struggle of infertility, there is no doubt the pages of our Bibles recording chapters one and two of 1 Samuel are dog-eared. We loved to read and reread the story of Hannah as she wept and prayed in the temple, crying out to God for a baby, just as we do today. We relate to her frustration, we can almost literally feel her pain and taste her salty tears. How many times have we all sat down in the dusty floor of the temple next to Hannah and wept along with her? It’s just so good to be understood by someone else who knows what it feels like to want a baby so badly, even if that understanding sister lived thousands of years ago!

Oh, how I wish there were video cameras in Hannah’s day! As much I love to read Hannah’s words, I would really love to hear her tell her story. Wouldn’t you? I’d love to hear her make her petitions to the Almighty. I’d love to see her face when she told Eli the priest that she wasn’t drunk, but heartbroken instead. Most of all, I’d want to eavesdrop when she brought her God-sent son back to the same priest and dedicated him to the Lord. I’d ask you to watch that particular video today. Then I’d ask you to watch it again and again. And again.

I’d ask you to back the video up to 1 Samuel 1:27 when Hannah held her precious baby boy in her arms and looked at the priest, Eli, and said “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted what I asked of Him...” And then I’d ask you to back it up and watch it again. And again. “For this child I prayed...” Back it up. “For this child I prayed...” Turn the volume up. “For this child I prayed...” I can’t help but believe if we could hear Hannah’s voice when she said these words, we might just hear her put her passionate emphasis on the word this. “For THIS child I prayed...”

The waiting in hard. You just want a baby. You don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, or if it’s born at the perfect time of year. You just want a healthy baby. You cry out to God with everything in you to let this month be the month. “God, please! I can’t wait another month! I’ll go crazy! Please let me get pregnant this time!” Just one baby! That’s all you ask for! But please, let it be now! Anybody who has ever gone through infertility would absolutely understand.

But listen to Hannah. “For this child I prayed.” What she didn’t realize all those years as she was weeping and crying out to God for a baby was that every single tear and every single prayer was a prayer for Samuel. Every single tear was a tear shed for Samuel. Every single prayer was a prayer prayed for Samuel. For this child I prayed. Can you imagine the first time she saw his face? It must have all come together in an instant! “Oh, I understand! It was for this child I prayed and waited! Not another! But for this child! So worth it. He was so worth it!”


If Hannah had conceived when she first desired a child, that child would not have been Samuel. There’s no way she could have realized the specific child she was praying for, but God knew. God knows your life and your future just as specifically. All the months that have passed with negative pregnancy tests are not failures. Were Hannah’s months and years without pregnancies failures? Her story resulted in Samuel! If she had conceived even one month earlier than she did, Samuel could not have been conceived and history would have been changed. “For this child I prayed...”

I believe God has a purpose and a plan for your infertility. I believe there is a reason for every single month, every single week, every single day and every single negative pregnancy test you must endure. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep praying. Keep asking God for children. It is our prayer that one day, just as you have wept with Hannah, you will join with her in saying, “For this child I prayed and God has granted what I asked of Him.”

Blind Roosters

"...your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

Matthew 6:8b

And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:16

I saw a humorous television commercial the other day in which a woman told her husband that she wanted sleep like they did before their rooster went blind.  The rooster knew it was born to "cock-a-doodle-doo", but because of his blindness, he couldn't tell when the sun rose each morning.  Therefore, he would crow at all hours of the day AND night!  There must have been lots of sleepless nights around this blind rooster!

Surely you have felt like a blind rooster at some point in your dealings with infertility.  You KNOW you are meant to be a mother.  You have nurturing ability beyond description.  You were born to pour your life into someone else and make a difference in their life.  The problem is that you're a blind rooster!  Because of the blindness of infertility, you cannot see how to release these gifts and talents without a child.  You cannot fathom a suitable outlet for the loving and nurturing you hold in your heart.  This frustration has brought you countless sleepless nights as well.

It's not just that you WANT to nurture and heal hurts.  You NEED to.  It's not just that you WANT to guide and shape the next generation.  You're going to explode if you can't!  Do you realize that God knows what you have need of before you do?  Long before you ever realized you had a problem with fertility, God knew He had placed these beautiful traits in you.  He's known your blueprint for a long time!  He also knew the aggravation and irritation infertility would bring you.  Here's the good news.  He knows just how to provide an outlet for you to release these gifts He has give you--even as you wait for a child.

Leah is a woman with a tender heart who cares deeply about the people God has placed in her path.  Because of her career as a social worker, Leah comes into contact with hurting, scared people almost daily.  Some may look at her life and think God has quite a sense of humor!  In spite of her struggle with infertility, He has called her to work in a home for unwed mothers! Leah, without a child of her own, loves and offers guidance to young girls who find themselves in unwanted pregnancies!  In fact, Leah recently accompanied one of her young charges into the delivery room, placed cool cloths on her forehead, held her hand through labor and comforted her through her fear.  With Leah, "love really is an action verb!

Through this very unique situation, God provided Leah with an outlet to nurture.  Quite honestly, she took the role of "mother" to this troubled teenage girl who had no one else.  While she has not yet been given the opportunity to take care of her own child, God--in His infinite wisdom--placed Leah at the right place at the right time, and gave her the grace to take care of someone else's child.  While accompanying an unwed teen into the labor/delivery room is not most infertile women's idea of God's providing a way to meet their needs, it was the perfect way for God to meet Leah's needs.

How has God met your specific, unique need to nurture?  Perhaps you keep the nursery at church or tach a class of rambunctious eight year olds on Wednesday nights. Do you pour love and affection on your nieces or nephews or your friend's children?  Does your heart yearn to wrap your arms around the lonely widow sitting alone on her porch day after day?  If you cannot see how He's working to meet your needs, ask Him to show you.  He's incredibly creative!  He may just surprise you!

May God bless you as you "cock-a-doodle-doo"!