Happy Thanksgiving Again!
In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Yesterday, we encouraged you to begin thinking about what you have to be thankful for, even if that list does not include a baby. We looked at things in the physical realm of our existence. Today, let’s look at the bountiful blessings God has poured on us in the spiritual realm.
I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20 God promises to never leave you—even in the midst of your struggle with infertility! Be thankful that God is there.
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1 God promises He’s your strength when you’re too weak to go on, and help for you in your trouble. Be thankful for a refuge and help.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 God loves us! He certainly didn’t have to, but chose to! How great is His love! Be thankful for God’s love.
Grace, mercy and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3 I’m so glad He gives me His grace, His mercy and His peace. I know I need it! Be thankful for grace, mercy and peace.
How about coming up with some more reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving? The easy thing to do would be to let yourself get caught up again in your hurts and disappointments. Fight that urge to fall into a depression! Find things that you are thankful for, whether big things or small!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving!
In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Give thanks? Are you nuts? I want to give up and you want me to give thanks? For what?
Chances are that you’ve been dreading the holidays ever since the holidays were over last year. Times when families gather is supposed to be wonderful, joyous and enjoyable, but when you are struggling with infertility, the last thing you want to see is all those relatives dragging in diaper bags and the newest pictures of their little darlings. You’ve cried. You’ve prayed. You’ve hidden in closets so you don’t have to ooh and aah over the latest addition to the Thanksgiving celebration. What do you have to be thankful for?
What do you have to be thankful for?
It’s so easy to get totally consumed in your quest for a child that you forget that you truly are blessed. It’s such a vicious cycle! We get bad news and we obsess on what’s not right in our lives. The more we ponder what’s wrong, the less able we are to focus on what’s right. We get down and begin the cycle over again by obsessing on what’s wrong.
Let’s look at what’s right! God is blessing us in ways we may not think about. Here are some ideas to get you started:
With the exception of our fertility issues, most of us have healthy bodies. Few of us are attached to an oxygen mask. Let’s give thanks for the systems of our bodies that work right.
Most of us have at least some family members and friends who love us, even if they don’t understand our fight. Even if they say stupid or hurtful things, we know they love us. Give thanks for your family and friends.
We are blessed financially, even in the midst of tough economic times. Those of us in the United States live in the richest nation in the world. Even if you struggle financially, you have a roof over your head. None of us will starve before morning. Let’s give thanks for our finances.
We live in the greatest country in the world. Whether you agree with how things are run or not, you live every day in freedom. When we attend mass, church services or support groups run by Christian organizations, we don’t hover in fear of someone coming in to blow our brains out. Let’s thank God for freedom!
God’s blessings are upon us! Tomorrow we’ll look at how God blesses us in the spiritual realm.
In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Give thanks? Are you nuts? I want to give up and you want me to give thanks? For what?
Chances are that you’ve been dreading the holidays ever since the holidays were over last year. Times when families gather is supposed to be wonderful, joyous and enjoyable, but when you are struggling with infertility, the last thing you want to see is all those relatives dragging in diaper bags and the newest pictures of their little darlings. You’ve cried. You’ve prayed. You’ve hidden in closets so you don’t have to ooh and aah over the latest addition to the Thanksgiving celebration. What do you have to be thankful for?
What do you have to be thankful for?
It’s so easy to get totally consumed in your quest for a child that you forget that you truly are blessed. It’s such a vicious cycle! We get bad news and we obsess on what’s not right in our lives. The more we ponder what’s wrong, the less able we are to focus on what’s right. We get down and begin the cycle over again by obsessing on what’s wrong.
Let’s look at what’s right! God is blessing us in ways we may not think about. Here are some ideas to get you started:
With the exception of our fertility issues, most of us have healthy bodies. Few of us are attached to an oxygen mask. Let’s give thanks for the systems of our bodies that work right.
Most of us have at least some family members and friends who love us, even if they don’t understand our fight. Even if they say stupid or hurtful things, we know they love us. Give thanks for your family and friends.
We are blessed financially, even in the midst of tough economic times. Those of us in the United States live in the richest nation in the world. Even if you struggle financially, you have a roof over your head. None of us will starve before morning. Let’s give thanks for our finances.
We live in the greatest country in the world. Whether you agree with how things are run or not, you live every day in freedom. When we attend mass, church services or support groups run by Christian organizations, we don’t hover in fear of someone coming in to blow our brains out. Let’s thank God for freedom!
God’s blessings are upon us! Tomorrow we’ll look at how God blesses us in the spiritual realm.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thank God for What He WILL Do
As an act of faith, why not spend time today thanking God for what you believe He WILL do? There is no doubt you are asking Him to bless your family with a healthy baby. Thank Him for this blessing! Thank Him that He hears every prayer you pray and that He will continue to hear each prayer. Thank Him that He cares about your desire for a baby, and that He has seen every tear you have cried. Thank Him that He will continue to walk this journey with you and that He will accompany you to every doctor’s appointment, that He will stand strong beside you each time someone says something to you that hurts your heart. Thank Him that He will NEVER leave you or forsake you. Thank Him that He understands your struggle with infertility and always will.
If you have suffered the loss of a baby, thank God for His provision of an eternal reunion with the baby you have loved and lost. If you have accepted His gift of salvation, you can wholeheartedly thank Him that one day you will see your baby again, even if the only way you ever saw your baby was on a stilled sonogram screen or even a positive pregnancy test. Thank Him that He has made a way for you to be eternally reunited with your baby. No more separation. Ever. You will literally see your child’s face. You will literally stroke their hair and smell their sweet fragrance. You will hear their sweet sighs. Thank God for making a way through the sacrifice of His Baby. (If you have never accepted His give of salvation, please accept His gift today. You’ll have so much to be thankful for!)
The holidays are hard when you are suffering. God loves you and has amazing plans for you. Even if your emotions cannot line up with this truth, trust God’s character when you cannot fathom His workings, and thank Him for the wonderful plan He has for you. When you present your requests to Him, wrap them in thanksgiving and lay them before Him with full assurance that He is passionate about you, He rejoices over you with singing, and He will do what He has promised He will do.
May God bless you today as you offer thanks for what He WILL do in your life.
If you have suffered the loss of a baby, thank God for His provision of an eternal reunion with the baby you have loved and lost. If you have accepted His gift of salvation, you can wholeheartedly thank Him that one day you will see your baby again, even if the only way you ever saw your baby was on a stilled sonogram screen or even a positive pregnancy test. Thank Him that He has made a way for you to be eternally reunited with your baby. No more separation. Ever. You will literally see your child’s face. You will literally stroke their hair and smell their sweet fragrance. You will hear their sweet sighs. Thank God for making a way through the sacrifice of His Baby. (If you have never accepted His give of salvation, please accept His gift today. You’ll have so much to be thankful for!)
The holidays are hard when you are suffering. God loves you and has amazing plans for you. Even if your emotions cannot line up with this truth, trust God’s character when you cannot fathom His workings, and thank Him for the wonderful plan He has for you. When you present your requests to Him, wrap them in thanksgiving and lay them before Him with full assurance that He is passionate about you, He rejoices over you with singing, and He will do what He has promised He will do.
May God bless you today as you offer thanks for what He WILL do in your life.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
GIve Thanks for What God Has Done
Giving Thanks for what God has done
Remember His wonders which He has done,
His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth,
Psalm 105:5
O LORD, how many are Your works!
Psalm 104:24
During a season of infertility, it is easy to focus entirely on what God has not yet provided and not remember to praise Him for His mighty works. Our focus often becomes what we are asking God for, and we often forget to offer our thanks for what He has already done in our lives. Today, why not spend some time thanking Him for His wondrous works in your life? It is perfectly okay to let your requests be made known to Him. In fact, God invites you to come to Him with your pleas and calls you to come to Him with your desire for a baby. But in this season of Thanksgiving, let’s not forget to offer our thanks for the works and wonders God has done in our lives.
What has God done for you personally? Look around the room where you sit right now. Are you home? God has provided your home! Are you at work? God has given you the ability to work and make the money to provide your home. Deuteronomy 8:18 reminds us to “remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth”. Give thanks for your home and your material belongings as well as the job you hold. These are gifts from God’s hand.
Keep looking around you. Are there pictures around you, proudly displaying loved ones who fill your life with love? Who is the wonderful spouse God has provided to share your life? Can you imagine your life without him? Give God thanks! Remember that He is the designer of marriage. He did this for you! Are there photos of parents or friends? God has granted those relationships. He doesn’t want you making life’s journey alone so He devised relationships. Give thanks for the people He has placed in your life.
What else has God done for you? Has He healed your body or someone you love? Give thanks. Has He provided for you or for someone you love? Give thanks. Has something happened that can only be described as miraculous? Give thanks. Has He cleansed your soul from sin? Though you can never, ever give thanks enough for this amazing gift, give thanks.
If your heart is heavy and you struggle to give thanks for things in your own life, open the pages of your Bible and read of God’s mighty works and give thanks. If you don’t have a Bible, go to www.BibleGateway.com. You can find the Bible on-line there.
Give thanks for God caring about infertile women--Sarah, Elizabeth, Rachel, Manoah’s wife, Hannah, Rebekah
Give thanks that He gave children to infertile women
Give thanks that He brought healing to parents grieving the death of their baby-David & Bathsheba
Give thanks that God provided financially--tax money in a fish’s mouth
Give thanks that God fought battles for people when the fight was too big for them to fight for themselves--David vs. Goliath, Gideon,--the list goes on and on!
Give thanks for Calvary
Give thanks for Heaven
Give Thanks!
Remember His wonders which He has done,
His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth,
Psalm 105:5
O LORD, how many are Your works!
Psalm 104:24
During a season of infertility, it is easy to focus entirely on what God has not yet provided and not remember to praise Him for His mighty works. Our focus often becomes what we are asking God for, and we often forget to offer our thanks for what He has already done in our lives. Today, why not spend some time thanking Him for His wondrous works in your life? It is perfectly okay to let your requests be made known to Him. In fact, God invites you to come to Him with your pleas and calls you to come to Him with your desire for a baby. But in this season of Thanksgiving, let’s not forget to offer our thanks for the works and wonders God has done in our lives.
What has God done for you personally? Look around the room where you sit right now. Are you home? God has provided your home! Are you at work? God has given you the ability to work and make the money to provide your home. Deuteronomy 8:18 reminds us to “remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth”. Give thanks for your home and your material belongings as well as the job you hold. These are gifts from God’s hand.
Keep looking around you. Are there pictures around you, proudly displaying loved ones who fill your life with love? Who is the wonderful spouse God has provided to share your life? Can you imagine your life without him? Give God thanks! Remember that He is the designer of marriage. He did this for you! Are there photos of parents or friends? God has granted those relationships. He doesn’t want you making life’s journey alone so He devised relationships. Give thanks for the people He has placed in your life.
What else has God done for you? Has He healed your body or someone you love? Give thanks. Has He provided for you or for someone you love? Give thanks. Has something happened that can only be described as miraculous? Give thanks. Has He cleansed your soul from sin? Though you can never, ever give thanks enough for this amazing gift, give thanks.
If your heart is heavy and you struggle to give thanks for things in your own life, open the pages of your Bible and read of God’s mighty works and give thanks. If you don’t have a Bible, go to www.BibleGateway.com. You can find the Bible on-line there.
Give thanks for God caring about infertile women--Sarah, Elizabeth, Rachel, Manoah’s wife, Hannah, Rebekah
Give thanks that He gave children to infertile women
Give thanks that He brought healing to parents grieving the death of their baby-David & Bathsheba
Give thanks that God provided financially--tax money in a fish’s mouth
Give thanks that God fought battles for people when the fight was too big for them to fight for themselves--David vs. Goliath, Gideon,--the list goes on and on!
Give thanks for Calvary
Give thanks for Heaven
Give Thanks!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Give Thanks for God Is Good
Give Thanks for God is Good
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100:4-5
Have you dreaded this week? This whole season? The holidays are times for families to gather together and celebrate, yet it can become difficult when infertility is the uninvited guest at the Thanksgiving table. Does a struggle with baby hunger give you a reason to put your thankfulness on the shelf this year? Can you legitimately say “I’ll be thankful next year” and not offer praise now?
We are admonished throughout Scripture to offer praise and thanksgiving to God, our Father, yet it is hard to lift praises from a broken heart. However, let me encourage you to take a step of faith and do what God calls you to do. Offer thanks to God, for He is good. God’s goodness never changes, even when your circumstances do! What comfort there is for us in that truth! When you remind yourself of God’s good rather than focusing on the hardships you are facing, it becomes a little easier to offer thanks.
Remember what the writer of Lamentations said:
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
Lamentations 3:20-22
His life was hard! He said his flesh and bones had wasted away, he talked of bitterness and hardship and the dark places in which he had dwelt. Oh, but then he reminded himself of the Lord’s lovingkindesses, and how His compassions never fail! What happened? He found that he had hope! Ponder God’s lovingkindness and His compassion. Think about how His compassion will never fail you, even through the hurt and frustration of infertility. And offer thanks.
I’ll offer you a challenge today! Do a search on “thanksgiving” in Scripture. When you do, you’ll find something interesting. You’ll notice that many times when you find a Scripture that speaks of thanksgiving, you’ll also notice that somewhere nearby, you’ll find a Scripture speaking of God’s goodness, of His lovingkindness or His compassions. If you cannot give thanks because of the situation you are in this Thanksgiving, offer thanks for the amazing God who gives us the privilege of offering thanks for Him. If we were never blessed beyond the gift of knowing Him, we would be blessed beyond measure. Give thanks with a grateful heart for the gift of knowing God. For a moment, lay aside the hurt of infertility, and offer God thanks for His lovingkindness, His tender mercies toward you, His compassions which will never fail you, for the sacrifice of His Baby He gave you. You may just feel hope rising up within you.
Give thanks.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting and His faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100:4-5
Have you dreaded this week? This whole season? The holidays are times for families to gather together and celebrate, yet it can become difficult when infertility is the uninvited guest at the Thanksgiving table. Does a struggle with baby hunger give you a reason to put your thankfulness on the shelf this year? Can you legitimately say “I’ll be thankful next year” and not offer praise now?
We are admonished throughout Scripture to offer praise and thanksgiving to God, our Father, yet it is hard to lift praises from a broken heart. However, let me encourage you to take a step of faith and do what God calls you to do. Offer thanks to God, for He is good. God’s goodness never changes, even when your circumstances do! What comfort there is for us in that truth! When you remind yourself of God’s good rather than focusing on the hardships you are facing, it becomes a little easier to offer thanks.
Remember what the writer of Lamentations said:
Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
Lamentations 3:20-22
His life was hard! He said his flesh and bones had wasted away, he talked of bitterness and hardship and the dark places in which he had dwelt. Oh, but then he reminded himself of the Lord’s lovingkindesses, and how His compassions never fail! What happened? He found that he had hope! Ponder God’s lovingkindness and His compassion. Think about how His compassion will never fail you, even through the hurt and frustration of infertility. And offer thanks.
I’ll offer you a challenge today! Do a search on “thanksgiving” in Scripture. When you do, you’ll find something interesting. You’ll notice that many times when you find a Scripture that speaks of thanksgiving, you’ll also notice that somewhere nearby, you’ll find a Scripture speaking of God’s goodness, of His lovingkindness or His compassions. If you cannot give thanks because of the situation you are in this Thanksgiving, offer thanks for the amazing God who gives us the privilege of offering thanks for Him. If we were never blessed beyond the gift of knowing Him, we would be blessed beyond measure. Give thanks with a grateful heart for the gift of knowing God. For a moment, lay aside the hurt of infertility, and offer God thanks for His lovingkindness, His tender mercies toward you, His compassions which will never fail you, for the sacrifice of His Baby He gave you. You may just feel hope rising up within you.
Give thanks.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Would You Ever Kill Someone?
Would you kill someone?
I’m not talking about taking the life of an attacker as you are defending your own life or that of your family. I’m asking if you would ever just come right out and kill someone. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your answer is a resounding “no”! For most of us, the idea of even hurting someone is absurd, much less taking someone’s life!
But why would you refuse to kill someone? Is it because you wouldn’t want to endure the punishment that would follow? As horrible as the punishment would be, most of us wouldn’t want to kill someone even if we knew we could escape any consequences. What is it that makes the idea of purposefully ending another person’s life so unthinkable?
A holy God handed down a commandment saying “Do not kill”. Enough said.
Do you realize this same holy God also said “Do not worry”?
Infertility places a heavy burden on your heart and your mind. You worry about whether or not you should pursue medical treatment. You worry about where the money will come from. You worry about a future without children if you are unable to conceive. You worry about a marriage placed under the strain of an empty cradle. You worry. You worry. You worry.
The same God who said “Do not kill” also said “Do not worry”.
Why does God tell you not to worry? Because He knows your future. He knows the plans He has for you, and He’s not worried. The uncertainty that infertility places before you is not puzzling to God. He knew every day of your life before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16) If His plan for you involves difficult days, He knows how to bring you through them. He also knows how to celebrate with you on joyous days. You don’t have to worry because you are never alone (Matthew 28:20), and the One who travels with you, who knows your future, is not worried.
You matter to God. God cares that your heart longs for a baby. He sees every tear that has streamed down your face when another cycle ends without a pregnancy. He understands the hurt and the frustration, yet because He is lovingly in control He can still say to you “don’t worry”.
Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith!
Luke 12:27-28
I’m not talking about taking the life of an attacker as you are defending your own life or that of your family. I’m asking if you would ever just come right out and kill someone. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your answer is a resounding “no”! For most of us, the idea of even hurting someone is absurd, much less taking someone’s life!
But why would you refuse to kill someone? Is it because you wouldn’t want to endure the punishment that would follow? As horrible as the punishment would be, most of us wouldn’t want to kill someone even if we knew we could escape any consequences. What is it that makes the idea of purposefully ending another person’s life so unthinkable?
A holy God handed down a commandment saying “Do not kill”. Enough said.
Do you realize this same holy God also said “Do not worry”?
Infertility places a heavy burden on your heart and your mind. You worry about whether or not you should pursue medical treatment. You worry about where the money will come from. You worry about a future without children if you are unable to conceive. You worry about a marriage placed under the strain of an empty cradle. You worry. You worry. You worry.
The same God who said “Do not kill” also said “Do not worry”.
Why does God tell you not to worry? Because He knows your future. He knows the plans He has for you, and He’s not worried. The uncertainty that infertility places before you is not puzzling to God. He knew every day of your life before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16) If His plan for you involves difficult days, He knows how to bring you through them. He also knows how to celebrate with you on joyous days. You don’t have to worry because you are never alone (Matthew 28:20), and the One who travels with you, who knows your future, is not worried.
You matter to God. God cares that your heart longs for a baby. He sees every tear that has streamed down your face when another cycle ends without a pregnancy. He understands the hurt and the frustration, yet because He is lovingly in control He can still say to you “don’t worry”.
Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith!
Luke 12:27-28
Thursday, November 20, 2008
God Says "You're Welcome"
People often refer to the infertility experience as being like a roller coaster ride. Full of emotional ups and downs! At the beginning of a new cycle, your hopes rise and you can say with full faith and assurance that you know God is in control of your life and your future. You know that He will bring you through this trial in your life, and you trust Him to give you a baby however He sees fit.
Throughout the dreaded two week wait (that always feels like it lasts at least two months) you try to remain positive without letting your hopes rise too high. You know that if you’re not pregnant the fall will be devastating and the crash may be too much to take. The ups and downs are simply ridiculous! Still, you try to trust God through the uncertainty and you tell Him you’ll take whatever He has planned .
Day 28 comes. Day 29. Could this be it? Should you wait one more day before you take a home pregnancy test, or should you do it now? Is this the moment you’ve waited for all these months? Did God finally come through? Before the celebrating begins, you realize you’re right back where you started from. There’s no pregnancy, just another period. Another failed attempt. Another time God has said “no”. Another devastating “down” in this roller coaster ride of infertility.
The strong faith you held on to just days before seems to have dissipated. You’re hurt, disappointed and confused. If we could roll back the curtains of Heaven and have a face to face conversation with the Almighty, would it sound something like this? “God, why do You allow me to hurt like this? Don’t You know how badly I want a baby? You didn’t let me conceive. I told You I trusted You. I told You I believed You. I put this in Your hands, God, and You stopped it again!” Perhaps it’s then you would hear your Father say to you, “Child, you’re welcome.”
You’re welcome? Did God not understand you? Was there something lost along the way, or did God not understand? No, hurting friend, God didn’t misunderstand. But maybe you did.
You are reassured every time you open the Bible that God has a plan for your life that He lovingly designed specifically for you. We quote Jeremiah 29:11 as easily as we can recite our own address and phone number, but do we really believe it? I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. God tells us that He knew us before we grew inside our mother’s womb. He has us engraved on the palms of His hands. He knows you want a baby more than you want the next breath you’ll take. He also knows exactly what needs to happen for His plan to be made manifest in your life to bring about this hope and future for you. God knows the hurt you feel every time you face another period and pregnancy-free month. He also knows that if He allowed you to conceive a child that He has not destined for you it would be a magnanimous tragedy. What if He allowed you to get pregnant, yet His perfect plan for you was an adopted child? What if His beautiful plan for you includes a pregnancy to begin in 6 months, yet He weakened and thought, “Well, she’s begged for a baby so much, I guess I’ll give in and let her conceive a different child now. It won’t be the child I have for her, but I’m tired of hearing her beg.” God loves you more than that. He loves you enough to love you through your misunderstandings. He loves you enough to be a Father who sometimes says “no” when He knows better. He loves you enough to make you wait on Him even when you want something so badly.
Remember this: Another month without a pregnancy is not a failure. It is simply another step toward the fulfillment of God’s perfect plan for your family.
And for that, we really can be thankful.
Throughout the dreaded two week wait (that always feels like it lasts at least two months) you try to remain positive without letting your hopes rise too high. You know that if you’re not pregnant the fall will be devastating and the crash may be too much to take. The ups and downs are simply ridiculous! Still, you try to trust God through the uncertainty and you tell Him you’ll take whatever He has planned .
Day 28 comes. Day 29. Could this be it? Should you wait one more day before you take a home pregnancy test, or should you do it now? Is this the moment you’ve waited for all these months? Did God finally come through? Before the celebrating begins, you realize you’re right back where you started from. There’s no pregnancy, just another period. Another failed attempt. Another time God has said “no”. Another devastating “down” in this roller coaster ride of infertility.
The strong faith you held on to just days before seems to have dissipated. You’re hurt, disappointed and confused. If we could roll back the curtains of Heaven and have a face to face conversation with the Almighty, would it sound something like this? “God, why do You allow me to hurt like this? Don’t You know how badly I want a baby? You didn’t let me conceive. I told You I trusted You. I told You I believed You. I put this in Your hands, God, and You stopped it again!” Perhaps it’s then you would hear your Father say to you, “Child, you’re welcome.”
You’re welcome? Did God not understand you? Was there something lost along the way, or did God not understand? No, hurting friend, God didn’t misunderstand. But maybe you did.
You are reassured every time you open the Bible that God has a plan for your life that He lovingly designed specifically for you. We quote Jeremiah 29:11 as easily as we can recite our own address and phone number, but do we really believe it? I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. God tells us that He knew us before we grew inside our mother’s womb. He has us engraved on the palms of His hands. He knows you want a baby more than you want the next breath you’ll take. He also knows exactly what needs to happen for His plan to be made manifest in your life to bring about this hope and future for you. God knows the hurt you feel every time you face another period and pregnancy-free month. He also knows that if He allowed you to conceive a child that He has not destined for you it would be a magnanimous tragedy. What if He allowed you to get pregnant, yet His perfect plan for you was an adopted child? What if His beautiful plan for you includes a pregnancy to begin in 6 months, yet He weakened and thought, “Well, she’s begged for a baby so much, I guess I’ll give in and let her conceive a different child now. It won’t be the child I have for her, but I’m tired of hearing her beg.” God loves you more than that. He loves you enough to love you through your misunderstandings. He loves you enough to be a Father who sometimes says “no” when He knows better. He loves you enough to make you wait on Him even when you want something so badly.
Remember this: Another month without a pregnancy is not a failure. It is simply another step toward the fulfillment of God’s perfect plan for your family.
And for that, we really can be thankful.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Perseverance
Perseverance. Infertile women know all about perseverance. We remain steadfast in our desire to conceive no matter how insane our medication makes us! We keep trying to maintain our sanity no matter how many pregnant co-workers we must throw showers for! We continue to ask for grace to keep going as we press on toward the goal of finally holding that much-desired bundle of joy in our arms! Oh yes, we understand perseverance!
So could the woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9. Boy, we could really have a conversation with her, couldn’t we? Just like us, her body betrayed her too. She had gone to doctor after doctor and none could help her. She had spent every penny she had, yet the blood continued to flow. (Are you feeling a connection with her yet?) She tried everything she knew to try, yet nothing had worked to correct the faultiness of her body. Yet something in her pressed her to persevere.
Perhaps it was the excitement in the air when she heard Jesus was passing through her community that drew her to the streets that day. Maybe it was desperation. She may have been at the end of her rope and just tired of suffering for so long. Whatever the catalyst, something spurred this woman on to force her way through a bustling crowd of people to get to where Jesus was. She was certainly not welcomed among the throngs of mothers and children. Shunned at family gatherings and avoided by peers, it must have been uncomfortable for her to even show up, much less shove people out of her way. She knew she had one last chance and she had to make it count. She had to persevere one more time.
She must have begun crawling toward Jesus. She crept this way, and then that. Everyone was looking over the person’s shoulders in front of them, and no one thought to look down! If they felt her brush against their knees, they assumed she was a child or an animal and for once, didn’t even bother to move away! Oh, it was difficult, but she was making ground. Jesus wasn’t moving too swiftly, and He’d stop to talk to people, so she’d surely be able to catch up with Him. She didn’t know what she’d do when she made her way to Him, she just knew she had to get to Him. She’d figure out the rest when she got there.
Her body was weakening. She didn’t know how much further she could go. Only a little further. Keep going! He’s within reach. “If I could just touch His cloak, I know I’ll be healed!”. With one final surge of strength, she pushed her worn body out as far as she could reach as her finger tips brushed the fringes of His garment, her exhausted flesh fell to the dusty ground with a thud.
“Who touched Me?”
The crowd stopped moving, and the whispering began. “What does He mean? A lot of people were touching Him. Many people were reaching for Him. What does He want to know?”
He asked again. “Who touched Me?” She knew. She knew He was talking about her. Taking a deep breath, she began to rise to her feet. For the first time in years, the trembling in her body was from excitement rather than weakness. “It was me.”
You could hear the gasps throughout the crowd when they saw this societal reject approach Jesus and take center stage in this mind boggling event. Who did she think she was to touch Jesus? She better get ready for a tongue lashing!
“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”
For the first time in 12 years, no bleeding. No weakness. No need to hide, no need to feel different. No need to wonder if God cared. No need to listen to nay-sayers who said to give up and accept that her suffering was God’s plan. She persevered and her faith survived.
I’m sure you can relate to this woman at the beginning of her story. Her body betrayed her. She was an outcast in her society. Her struggle seemed to last forever. Doctor after doctor scratched their heads in bewilderment and all her money was gone. I hope you can relate to her perseverance in the face of on-going struggle.
If you fear that it makes no difference if you continue to pray for a baby, remember this woman and persevere in your prayer life. If you wonder if you are being foolish to continue to believe God for a miracle, remember this woman and hear Jesus say to your heart, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.” If you persevere, eventually your fingers will brush the fringes of His garment. Your life will change and you’ll never be the same.
So could the woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9. Boy, we could really have a conversation with her, couldn’t we? Just like us, her body betrayed her too. She had gone to doctor after doctor and none could help her. She had spent every penny she had, yet the blood continued to flow. (Are you feeling a connection with her yet?) She tried everything she knew to try, yet nothing had worked to correct the faultiness of her body. Yet something in her pressed her to persevere.
Perhaps it was the excitement in the air when she heard Jesus was passing through her community that drew her to the streets that day. Maybe it was desperation. She may have been at the end of her rope and just tired of suffering for so long. Whatever the catalyst, something spurred this woman on to force her way through a bustling crowd of people to get to where Jesus was. She was certainly not welcomed among the throngs of mothers and children. Shunned at family gatherings and avoided by peers, it must have been uncomfortable for her to even show up, much less shove people out of her way. She knew she had one last chance and she had to make it count. She had to persevere one more time.
She must have begun crawling toward Jesus. She crept this way, and then that. Everyone was looking over the person’s shoulders in front of them, and no one thought to look down! If they felt her brush against their knees, they assumed she was a child or an animal and for once, didn’t even bother to move away! Oh, it was difficult, but she was making ground. Jesus wasn’t moving too swiftly, and He’d stop to talk to people, so she’d surely be able to catch up with Him. She didn’t know what she’d do when she made her way to Him, she just knew she had to get to Him. She’d figure out the rest when she got there.
Her body was weakening. She didn’t know how much further she could go. Only a little further. Keep going! He’s within reach. “If I could just touch His cloak, I know I’ll be healed!”. With one final surge of strength, she pushed her worn body out as far as she could reach as her finger tips brushed the fringes of His garment, her exhausted flesh fell to the dusty ground with a thud.
“Who touched Me?”
The crowd stopped moving, and the whispering began. “What does He mean? A lot of people were touching Him. Many people were reaching for Him. What does He want to know?”
He asked again. “Who touched Me?” She knew. She knew He was talking about her. Taking a deep breath, she began to rise to her feet. For the first time in years, the trembling in her body was from excitement rather than weakness. “It was me.”
You could hear the gasps throughout the crowd when they saw this societal reject approach Jesus and take center stage in this mind boggling event. Who did she think she was to touch Jesus? She better get ready for a tongue lashing!
“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”
For the first time in 12 years, no bleeding. No weakness. No need to hide, no need to feel different. No need to wonder if God cared. No need to listen to nay-sayers who said to give up and accept that her suffering was God’s plan. She persevered and her faith survived.
I’m sure you can relate to this woman at the beginning of her story. Her body betrayed her. She was an outcast in her society. Her struggle seemed to last forever. Doctor after doctor scratched their heads in bewilderment and all her money was gone. I hope you can relate to her perseverance in the face of on-going struggle.
If you fear that it makes no difference if you continue to pray for a baby, remember this woman and persevere in your prayer life. If you wonder if you are being foolish to continue to believe God for a miracle, remember this woman and hear Jesus say to your heart, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.” If you persevere, eventually your fingers will brush the fringes of His garment. Your life will change and you’ll never be the same.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Spared
After a difficult struggle with infertility that involved much medical intervention, God blessed my husband and me with a beautiful daughter, for whom we are eternally grateful. Never a day goes by that we are not breathlessly aware of His amazing gift of her. When she was four years old, we returned to our physician in an attempt to conceive again. Nothing happened. More surgery, more rounds of medications, more procedures. Nothing. We decided to lay down the attempts at a biological child and pursue the miracle of adoption.
After prayerful consideration, we decided we would adopt from Russia. The Russian people had always been so intriguing to me and it just felt right. We contacted a reputable adoption agency, were quickly accepted and began the never-ending mountains of paperwork--in English and in Russian! Nothing happened. Our dossier was completed. Months passed. Nothing. A year passed. Suddenly everything felt wrong. We decided to change courses again.
We began to look into domestic adoption. We didn’t really understand why we felt the way we did. We had prayed over every step we took. We believed God lead us back to the fertility clinic, but then we believe He lead us away. We believed He lead us to pursue a Russian adoption but felt just as strongly that He was leading us to lay it down as well. Would He lead us to complete a domestic adoption or would He ask us to stop this as well?
We went through the process, filled out more mounds of paperwork and began yet another waiting process. We were assured that our profile would be quickly chosen by a birthmother and that our family would soon be complete. After another year, we were told that our documents were never even looked at by birthmothers. We were never even considered. It was then that we decided to lay down our attempts to adopt. Our family would be complete as it was. For the first time, we felt completely at peace.
Several years later, my husband was praying as he was driving to work. He wasn’t praying about having more children or adopting a child. We had resolved those issues and remained at peace about it. However, God spoke to him and he said he knew God was speaking about not giving us more children. “I’ve spared you from a greater sorrow,” God said to my husband.
We thought we wanted more children. We thought our family was not complete and we thought we knew what we needed to do. We pursued every avenue we could to bring more children into our home. God, in His wisdom and love, put up roadblocks at every turn! God spared us from a sorrow greater than not having a house full of children. True, I always thought I wanted a large family. What I didn’t want was a large family of children who would not love and serve God. Perhaps He looked down through time and eternity and saw that my children would not have served Him, so He spared me--and them--that sorrow. Perhaps my heart couldn’t take the heartbreak of miscarriage. He spared me that sorrow. I am eternally grateful for the sorrow He has spared me.
What if we had dug our heels in the mud? What if we had forced our will over His like Sarah did in the Old Testament? No longer trusting in the promises given by God, Sarah approached Abraham with her own plan and orchestrated the events that eventually lead to the birth of a child borne to Abraham and Sarah’s maid, Hagar. Oh, the chaos that ensued! The women hated each other, the mother and child were banished to the dessert and there is fighting in the Middle East to this very day because of the birth of this child, Ishmael. What if Sarah had let God work His plan in her life rather than getting ahead of Him? What if she had waited a little while longer rather than deciding she knew the future better than the One who had written her future?
You may not understand the road He leads you down. Perhaps God is sparing you from greater sorrow. You may think you know what you want and need. God knows the intricacies of your future more than you ever could. He knows what you need and knows when you need it. Even if your heart is hurting, consider that God may be sparing you from greater sorrow. Roadblocks may just be His way of loving you and sparing you from great pain. Only eternity will tell how much sorrow He has protected you from. Trust His plan and His love for you, even if His plan involves a few roadblocks and setbacks. It may just be His way of sparing you from greater sorrow.
After prayerful consideration, we decided we would adopt from Russia. The Russian people had always been so intriguing to me and it just felt right. We contacted a reputable adoption agency, were quickly accepted and began the never-ending mountains of paperwork--in English and in Russian! Nothing happened. Our dossier was completed. Months passed. Nothing. A year passed. Suddenly everything felt wrong. We decided to change courses again.
We began to look into domestic adoption. We didn’t really understand why we felt the way we did. We had prayed over every step we took. We believed God lead us back to the fertility clinic, but then we believe He lead us away. We believed He lead us to pursue a Russian adoption but felt just as strongly that He was leading us to lay it down as well. Would He lead us to complete a domestic adoption or would He ask us to stop this as well?
We went through the process, filled out more mounds of paperwork and began yet another waiting process. We were assured that our profile would be quickly chosen by a birthmother and that our family would soon be complete. After another year, we were told that our documents were never even looked at by birthmothers. We were never even considered. It was then that we decided to lay down our attempts to adopt. Our family would be complete as it was. For the first time, we felt completely at peace.
Several years later, my husband was praying as he was driving to work. He wasn’t praying about having more children or adopting a child. We had resolved those issues and remained at peace about it. However, God spoke to him and he said he knew God was speaking about not giving us more children. “I’ve spared you from a greater sorrow,” God said to my husband.
We thought we wanted more children. We thought our family was not complete and we thought we knew what we needed to do. We pursued every avenue we could to bring more children into our home. God, in His wisdom and love, put up roadblocks at every turn! God spared us from a sorrow greater than not having a house full of children. True, I always thought I wanted a large family. What I didn’t want was a large family of children who would not love and serve God. Perhaps He looked down through time and eternity and saw that my children would not have served Him, so He spared me--and them--that sorrow. Perhaps my heart couldn’t take the heartbreak of miscarriage. He spared me that sorrow. I am eternally grateful for the sorrow He has spared me.
What if we had dug our heels in the mud? What if we had forced our will over His like Sarah did in the Old Testament? No longer trusting in the promises given by God, Sarah approached Abraham with her own plan and orchestrated the events that eventually lead to the birth of a child borne to Abraham and Sarah’s maid, Hagar. Oh, the chaos that ensued! The women hated each other, the mother and child were banished to the dessert and there is fighting in the Middle East to this very day because of the birth of this child, Ishmael. What if Sarah had let God work His plan in her life rather than getting ahead of Him? What if she had waited a little while longer rather than deciding she knew the future better than the One who had written her future?
You may not understand the road He leads you down. Perhaps God is sparing you from greater sorrow. You may think you know what you want and need. God knows the intricacies of your future more than you ever could. He knows what you need and knows when you need it. Even if your heart is hurting, consider that God may be sparing you from greater sorrow. Roadblocks may just be His way of loving you and sparing you from great pain. Only eternity will tell how much sorrow He has protected you from. Trust His plan and His love for you, even if His plan involves a few roadblocks and setbacks. It may just be His way of sparing you from greater sorrow.
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