Matthew 6:8b
And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
Psalm 139:16
I saw a humorous television commercial the other day in which a woman told her husband that she wanted sleep like they did before their rooster went blind. The rooster knew it was born to "cock-a-doodle-doo", but because of his blindness, he couldn't tell when the sun rose each morning. Therefore, he would crow at all hours of the day AND night! There must have been lots of sleepless nights around this blind rooster!
Surely you have felt like a blind rooster at some point in your dealings with infertility. You KNOW you are meant to be a mother. You have nurturing ability beyond description. You were born to pour your life into someone else and make a difference in their life. The problem is that you're a blind rooster! Because of the blindness of infertility, you cannot see how to release these gifts and talents without a child. You cannot fathom a suitable outlet for the loving and nurturing you hold in your heart. This frustration has brought you countless sleepless nights as well.
It's not just that you WANT to nurture and heal hurts. You NEED to. It's not just that you WANT to guide and shape the next generation. You're going to explode if you can't! Do you realize that God knows what you have need of before you do? Long before you ever realized you had a problem with fertility, God knew He had placed these beautiful traits in you. He's known your blueprint for a long time! He also knew the aggravation and irritation infertility would bring you. Here's the good news. He knows just how to provide an outlet for you to release these gifts He has give you--even as you wait for a child.
Leah is a woman with a tender heart who cares deeply about the people God has placed in her path. Because of her career as a social worker, Leah comes into contact with hurting, scared people almost daily. Some may look at her life and think God has quite a sense of humor! In spite of her struggle with infertility, He has called her to work in a home for unwed mothers! Leah, without a child of her own, loves and offers guidance to young girls who find themselves in unwanted pregnancies! In fact, Leah recently accompanied one of her young charges into the delivery room, placed cool cloths on her forehead, held her hand through labor and comforted her through her fear. With Leah, "love really is an action verb!
Through this very unique situation, God provided Leah with an outlet to nurture. Quite honestly, she took the role of "mother" to this troubled teenage girl who had no one else. While she has not yet been given the opportunity to take care of her own child, God--in His infinite wisdom--placed Leah at the right place at the right time, and gave her the grace to take care of someone else's child. While accompanying an unwed teen into the labor/delivery room is not most infertile women's idea of God's providing a way to meet their needs, it was the perfect way for God to meet Leah's needs.
How has God met your specific, unique need to nurture? Perhaps you keep the nursery at church or tach a class of rambunctious eight year olds on Wednesday nights. Do you pour love and affection on your nieces or nephews or your friend's children? Does your heart yearn to wrap your arms around the lonely widow sitting alone on her porch day after day? If you cannot see how He's working to meet your needs, ask Him to show you. He's incredibly creative! He may just surprise you!
May God bless you as you "cock-a-doodle-doo"!
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