Hindsight is 20/20

Hindsight is 20/20

I found an old friend the other day. It was the journal I kept during the hectic days of infertility treatment. One pages recorded the medication schedule--what time to take an antigen shot, when to take an HcG shot. Another held the date of an IUI. Another marked the tear-stained record of a failed cycle and the beginning of another period. Each entry marked by infertility’s pen. As I scanned each page, memories flooded my mind. It was amazing to me that the same mind that cannot hold on to the location of my car keys could somehow recall the specific emotions and conversations that accompanied these journal entries with laser beam clarity.

As I perused these pages, I realized I was reading more than doctor’s appointments scribbled in blue ink and test results scribbled in black. Every journal entry was edited by Mercy’s hand. Beautifully written in invisible ink across every page were the words “My plan is unfolding” and they were all signed by “Grace”. In the dark days when the journal pages were crisp and blank, I could only see the empty calendar pages. I couldn’t see the entirety of God’s plan for me. I couldn’t even see the end of the month! I could only see the failed pregnancy test, the cysts that caused a delay in treatment, the addition of another diagnosis. I couldn’t see around a failed adoption to see that God really did have a marvelous plan for me and that all of these setbacks played a role.

As I look back through the pages of my journal, I remember how confusing those days were. Today I look back and see God’s hand on every page. You’ve all heard the old saying “Hindsight is 20/20”. As you look back at situations in your life, you can sometimes see things more clearly. Look at 2 Chronicles 20:20: “Have faith in the Lord your God. He'll take good care of you.” One day, you’ll be able to look back on the trials that perplex you, and realize more clearly than you can see today, God is still taking good care of you. Your hindsight will be 2 Chronicles 20/20! If, as you write in your journal today, it seems like God is no where to be found in your infertility story, remind yourself that God will take good care of you. Even if your emotions don’t line up with your faith, encourage yourself with the truth of Scripture that God loves you and will take good care of you.