He Missed the Whole Thing!

And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
Luke 2:7

He missed the whole thing! It happened right around him and next to him and behind him and in front of him but he still missed the whole thing. Amazing! Maybe he was too worried about the money he thought he should have been making. Maybe he was wiped out from too many people asking too many questions. Maybe he was distracted from the fight he had with his wife earlier that night. Whatever the reason--he missed the whole thing!

The innkeeper who allowed Mary & Joseph to stay in his stable the night Jesus was born was probably within a few feet of witnessing the central event of mankind, yet he missed the whole thing! He knew they were there--he allowed them to stay there. She was a scared, teenage girl wracked with the pain of labor--probably without her mother or a midwife; he was a nervous young man, wringing helpless hands and weeping as he heard the anguished, pain-filled cries of his bride as she labored to give the savior of the world birth. How could they go unnoticed to this innkeeper?

Surely he must’ve seen the wide-eyed shepherds as they flocked to his small shed. Men cannot experience a sky full of angels and come quietly! Dirty, wonder-struck shepherds falling in reverence before a tiny, hours-old infant and His exhausted teen mother had to cause quite a commotion! Imagine the bleating sheep crowding out the animals in the stable! So much for a silent night! Did the innkeeper cover his ears and turn over in his bed and wish they’d all just hush so he could sleep? He missed the whole thing!

A sky full of angels. A star above the little stable he loaned out as a labor and delivery room. The birth of the Savior who would offer him redemption from his sins. He missed it all. Never in Scripture do we read of the innkeeper falling to his knees in worship with the Magi or running through the streets to proclaim the birth of the Messiah. We see no reference of his gazing into the night sky and shielding his eyes from the amazing brightness of the star shining over his humble home. We don’t even see where he snuck around the corner and peeked in to the gathering of worshipers to see what all the ruckus was all about. The innkeeper apparently got so distracted by other happenings in his life that he missed the event that literally split time into. He missed the whole thing. What distraction cause him to miss this once in an eternity event?

Has infertility distracted you from the true meaning of Christmas? There is no doubt that infertility hurts. A lot. When you want a baby so badly, it seems that everything reminds you that everyone around you has children, yet your womb and your nursery remain silent. The sting of infertility can distract you from other important things. Don’t let infertility cause you to miss the true gift of Christmas like the innkeeper did.

No matter how beautiful the gifts are that are wrapped in brightly colored paper and ribbons and laid under your tree tonight, don’t let infertility distract from the knowledge that the most precious gift ever given to you was once wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. As you enjoy the beautifully decorated ornaments that are hung on your Christmas tree in your home tonight, don’t let infertility cause you to forget that God’s greatest gift to you once hung on another tree and died in your place. Infertility can rob you of many things, but it cannot steal the true meaning of the greatest gift of Christmas from your heart.

I'm Dreaming of a "Why" Christmas

I’m Dreaming of a “Why” Christmas

I recently heard a little girl sweetly singing a Christmas carol to the top of her lungs. She had her angelic face tilted just perfectly, her eyes closed, and with all the gusto her 9 year old heart could muster, she belted out “I’m dreaming of a ‘why’ Christmas!” Not quite the Bing Crosby version most of us have grown up with, but perhaps the more appropriate one for those who face the holiday season with infertility.

There are so many, many “whys” during the holidays. The strong emphasis placed on family relationships during this time of year spotlights the whys your heart carries. Why can some people have babies so easily yet I am facing another year childless? Why did my baby not survive yet another chose to abort? Why does God choose to grant a healthy pregnancy to someone who calls her baby an “accident” when I have done any and every thing I can do to conceive and nothing has worked? Why? Why? Why?

Are you struggling with a “Why Christmas” this year? If so, then I encourage you to consider “Why Christmas?” Why did God give us Christmas? Imagine if you will, that an amazing miracle would occur today, and your doctor would call you and say that according to your latest test results you are perfectly pregnant. All your hormone levels are exactly as they should be and the next nine months are blissfully filled with your bulging belly and growing baby. You give birth to a perfect child and all is right with the world. You cannot believe the love your heart hold for this miracle in the flesh who has your eyes and your husband’s chin.

However, in the greatest act of love imaginable, you hand this much desired baby over to someone else! The love you hold for you baby is incomprehensible, but you know the other person will perish if you do not give them your child, and you cannot bear the thought, so with more compassion that you ever dreamed possible, you give them the gift of the baby you have desired so long. This person doesn’t even know your name, doesn’t love your baby, and really doesn’t even care that this child exists! You give your child to someone else because you know they need your baby to survive, and they don’t even realize it. They look at you as if you’ve lost your mind, and they tell you they don’t want your baby and walk away.

Can you imagine loving another person so much that you’d give your baby to them? God can.

God loves you so much, He gave His Baby to you on Christmas. He gave you His Baby because He knew you needed Him to survive. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) He knew your heart would be filled with so many “whys” this Christmas and you needed God Emmanuel, God with you. That’s why God gave Christmas.

If your heart is filled with all the whys of infertility, and you’re dreaming of a “why Christmas”, remind yourself of why God gave us Christmas. He loves us. He gave us His Baby. God Emmanuel. God with us. God with us through the good time. God with us in the bad times. God with us at the doctor’s offices. God with us when the periods starts and the pregnancy tests are negative. God with us through the tearful nights. God with us in good times. God with us when family celebrations are too hard. He is God with us because God gave us His Son that first Christmas night. God with us to make a way for sins to be forgiven so we can be with Him for eternity.

That is why God gave us Christmas.

Infertility Bible Study!

Infertility Bible Study


It’s almost here! The last minute details are being ironed out! The final preparations are being made!

I’m not talking about Christmas! I’m talking about the Sarah’s Laughter Infertility Bible Study!

We are so very excited about this amazing adventure God is leading us on! It has been a long time in the making, and the study is almost ready. For quite some time, people have asked if we know of a quality, in-depth Bible study that focuses on infertility. The fact is there just aren’t that many out there. We feel God has led us to compile one and we are humbled and excited about it. The Word of God has much to say about the struggle a couple faces when consumed with infertility. There are helps in Scripture for the battle we face when we are consumed with jealousy when another woman gets pregnant, yet we remain childless. Anger can consume us, yet the Bible tells us what we should do to put it away from us. If your heart is heavy and sad, God understands the hurt and His Word has the balm to soothe your wounds. All of these issues and more are addressed in this Bible Study, and each lesson is directly related to infertility.

We would love to present this study to 100 people for a critique before it is offered to the general public. If you would be interested in completing the study and offering your opinion, contact us immediately. There are very few spots left on our list of 100 volunteers! Send us your name and mailing address and we will send you a hard copy the week of January 5-9, 2009.

The following is a sample of a “homework assignment” found in the Bible Study. It is only a tiny example of the practical helps you’ll find in this work.

A Little Lagniappe
Jealousy
Day 3—Practice, Practice, Practice!

List the five most difficult situations you face in regard to infertility induced jealousy:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Go back to Philippians 4:13 and fill in the blanks:

“I _________________________ do _________________________________________ through _______________________________ who _____________________________ me.”
Now, re-write this verse, replacing the words “do all things” with the five situations you’ve listed:
Here are a couple of examples for you:

“I can face another birthday without a baby through Christ who strengthens me.”

“I can maintain a relationship with my very fertile family members through Christ who strengthens me.”

I can______________________________________________________________ through Christ who strengthens me.

I can______________________________________________________________ through Christ who strengthens me.

I can______________________________________________________________ through Christ who strengthens me.

I can______________________________________________________________ through Christ who strengthens me.

I can______________________________________________________________ through Christ who strengthens me.


Now let’s put these two blessed truths together! When you face jealousy-invoking situations along your journey through infertility, practice plugging your situation into this verse and make it a habit! Instead of ruminating on your rage and jealousy toward people at work who gripe about being pregnant, practice saying “I can face pregnant co-workers at my job today through Christ who strengthens me.” Instead of allowing infertility to destroy relationships with people you love, practice saying “I can maintain a strong, healthy, relationships with those I love through Christ who strengthens me.” Combat these negative, hurtful, jealous thoughts with the powerful, efficacious Word of God until it becomes a habit!


Remember, if you'd like to receive an advance copy of the Sarah's Laughter Infertility Bible Study at no cost to you to complete and critique, please contact us immediately at Beth@Sarahs-Laughter.com! The offer is made only to the first 100 people to sign up, and most spots are taken. Send us your name and mailing address. We are excited to join with you in this venture!

GIants on the Battlefield of Loss

Giants On The Battlefield of Loss

Everybody loves the story of David and Goliath. The giant David faced was obvious. Goliath seemed to be an insurmountable foe. But what are your giants?

Oh, your giants are there, and they are probably many! Perhaps you have had much experience on the battlefield of infertility or pregnancy loss. You’re a seasoned warrior in a battle you never intended to fight. You’ve done all you know to do to ensure success this time. But time after time, your giant stands in the way and grasps victory from your hands. Perhaps you’ve survived longer and longer each time, butit’s never been long enough for your baby to survive. Do you tremble at the thought of trying to conceive again because you simply don’t think you can survive another disappointment? The giant of Fear is threatening to destroy you. Come against the giant of Fear in the Name of the Lord! Isaiah 9:6 is your armory, where your weapon can be found! And His Name will be called…Prince of Peace. “I come against the giant of Fear in the Name of the Prince of Peace!”

Have friends and family become so uncomfortable by your tears that they have simply stopped coming around or have the invitations to family gathering suddenly disappeared? Are the giants of Loneliness and Isolation tormenting you and screaming out your name so loudly that you have begun to turn away from those you love? Come against the giants of Loneliness and Isolation with the Name of the Friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). Are you collapsing at the feet of the giant called Weakness? Don’t feel like you’re strong enough to last for the duration of the conflict? Defeat the giant called Weakness with the Name of the Lord found Isaiah 26:4! You’ll see the giant of Weakness bow its knee to the Lord Jehovah, our Everlasting Strength!

But wait! There’s a giant that seems to scream more loudly and threateningly than all the rest. What about the mighty giant of Sorrow? It’s probably the largest and most powerful giant on the battlefields of miscarriage and infertility. It has defeated you time after time after time. No weapon you’ve brandished against it has accomplished much. Time after time, Sorrow comes against you. Time after time, you dissolve into a pile of tears and pain. Since you’ve begun the quest for parenthood, your heart has been blindsided with pain you never saw coming. Is there a standard to raise against this powerful warrior?

Take heart, hurting friend. Reach back into your quiver and pull out a mighty weapon! It’s found in Psalm 3:1-3:

“O LORD, how my adversaries have increased! Many are rising up against me. Many are saying of my soul, ‘There is no deliverance for him in God,’ But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.”

Here, the same David who fought with Goliath is calling out to God at another point of conflict in his life. He’s telling God how his adversaries have increased and how so many are rising up against him that people are saying there is no help for him. Sound familiar? “I don’t guess they’ll ever get over losing that baby!” “I guess I’ll never be a grandparent!” The giant of Sorrow takes another step toward you. “The pain is so deep! The sadness is so profound! I’ll never be truly happy again!” Sorrow throws its head back and laughs at your pain!

But just as David did in the valley of Elah, join all the righteous warriors of the centuries and proclaim to the giant of Sorrow that God is a shield about you! Any fiery darts are forever extinguished when God Himself is your Shield! You may just hear Sorrow begin to take a step back! That’s not all! Is your head bowed down with despair and you can hardly lift your face to carry on with your day? Verse 3 says He is your glory and the Lifter of your Head! Come against the giant of Sorrow with the Name of God Almighty, your Shield! God Almighty, your Glory! God Almighty, the Lifter of your Head! The thundering you hear is the giant of Sorrow falling at your feet for all the armies of the world to see!


Adapted from When Love & Sorrow Embrace: The Sufficiency of God’s Grace Through the Heartache of Miscarriage, (c) 2006 Beth Forbus.

Nothing is Too Hard

Nothing is Too Hard

Is anything too difficult for the Lord?
Genesis 18:14


For nothing will be impossible with God!
Luke 1:37


In the stories of the births of Isaac and Jesus Himself we see some similarities.  Astonished parents.  Surprise.  A promised child.  But I want to point out to you a couple of very similar and wonderful statements undoubtedly proclaimed with a twinkle in the eye of the holy messenger who was honored to share it.  Go back with me to Sarah’s tent as the angel of the Lord told her at the tender young age of 89 that within one year she would finally bear the child she had craved her entire life.  What was that blessed question to the dazed octogenarian?  Is anything too difficult for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14)  I know she laughed but I can’t help but think that the angel had to at least snicker at her expression! 
 
Now jump ahead to the central event of mankind--the birth of Christ.  Look with me as a scared young girl stares an angel in the face as he tells her she is carrying the Lamb of God in her virgin womb.  What was his message to this confused young girl?  For nothing will be impossible with God! (Luke 1:37) 
 
See any similarities?  Both of these statements were uttered to reassure the mothers of children who otherwise could not have been born!  It took a miracle to breathe life into the womb of a 90-year-old woman and even more miracle working power to bring the Son of God into the human body of a virgin teenager!  I absolutely love that God placed those two Scriptures boldly screaming out through time and eternity that nothing is too difficult for God right smack dab in the middle of the accounts of these children!  Both statements were uttered in response to the conception of children!  That really speaks to me as a woman who has felt the sting of childlessness myself!
 
Let me tattoo on your heart right now--Nothing is too hard for God!  Nothing!  Hallelujah!  Endometriosis?  It’s nothing to the Great Physician!  Unexplained infertility?  Not to an all-knowing God!  Miscarriages?  Stillbirths?  God understands--remember He knows the sting of losing a Child.  His child died, too.  Adoption?  He is the original adoptive parent!  
 
Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing is too difficult for God and He’s fighting this battle right along with you!  Disease?  He can heal!  Financially strapped?  His very Name--Jehovah Jireh--proclaims to you that He is your Provider!  Confused?  He can lead you to the right doctors or support groups!  Tired?  He can give you rest!  Barren?  He can open your womb!  We serve such a wonderful God.  I’m so glad He loves me and cares about my hurt!

A Christmas Secret

A Christmas Secret

Shh! Can you keep a secret? You can’t tell! My husband’s Christmas gift has been sitting on our kitchen counter for two weeks and he doesn’t know it! It’s wrapped up in a beautiful, decorative box that is quite ornate. The uniquely shaped box he assumes to be a new Christmas decoration is actually a gift he has been hinting for for quite some time! He walks by it every day and has no idea! He stands within inches of his present and reads the mail! I have to admit, I enjoy being a little sneaky and the thought of hidden treasures makes me smile.

Do you realize that God has hidden treasures all around you today? He understands that infertility can take a toll on your heart--especially around the holidays. He knows the burden that baby hunger brings, so He gives you an extra measure of love. He may not have placed them in brightly colored boxes on your kitchen countertops, but they are there!

Where are these hidden Christmas gifts from God? Perhaps God has given you a measure of His love in a phone call from a friend who just called to check on you after she knew you had an important doctor’s appointment. Just the fact that she cared spoke volumes to your heart! (A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.--Proverbs 25:11) Remember your pastor’s sermon that really seemed to speak to your heart? Maybe God was being a little sneaky and placed that in your pastor’s heart just for you. There are many times we receive emails telling us that a Daily Double Portion was just what someone needed for the struggle they were going through on a particular day. God had placed a hidden treasure right in front of them--right on their computer screen! Something as simple as an encouraging book you find in a Christian book store, or even a song on the radio can remind you of the love God has for you in troubling times. Perhaps you’ve never considered that encounters such as these can be more than just coincidences and could actually be hidden gifts from God to help you through this most difficult journey through infertility!

Remember when you were a little girl? Did you sneak around the house at Christmas time, trying your best to find the Christmas gifts you knew were hidden somewhere just out of sight? Why not be like that again? Look around you for the hidden treasures of God’s love.

As women who want to get pregnant we are absolute professionals at looking for signs. Every time we are in the midst of a two-week wait between ovulation day and day 28, we look for a sign we are pregnant. Could that twinge mean anything? I don’t think I feel very well today. Could that be morning sickness starting? Why not put this unintentional talent to work for you? Look for a sign that God is offering you extra encouragement today? “Could that song be God’s way of reminding me that He really is Emmanuel, God with me? He won’t leave me--even through infertility!”

God loves you. He’s passionate about you. He wants to show you His love for you. And when you find His gifts of love, I believe He smiles.

Loved

We are in the full swing of the holiday season! Choirs sing “Joy to the World”! Shoppers gleefully cram bags full of half-priced treasures into bulging car trunks and rush back into the malls to find more bargains! Decorations are hung, the air is crisp and everyone is filled with the anticipation of glad reunions with family and friends in the coming weeks.

Yet your heart is still broken. Your womb is still empty. Your world is still wrapped in infertility.

Christmas is supposed to be a time when we lay aside the heaviness of the year and celebrate family and friends. For the woman struggling with infertility, it can be the hardest time to celebrate. You really are grateful to God for the gift of His Son, but it’s hard to see pictures of mangers and babies, even if the baby is Baby Jesus. While everyone around you basks in the glow of the love of friends and family, infertility can cause you to feel alone and even sometimes unloved.

If infertility has caused you to feel unloved today, please open the pages of God’s Word today and find Ephesians 3:16-19. As you read its message, envision the writer, Paul, wrapped in chains in a prison cell, but freer than any of his captors. Hear his raspy voice, alive with passion as he locks eyes with you, looks deep into the hurt your heart carries and says to you “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

Can you hear his chains rattling as this impassioned apostle’s gestures grow more animated? And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (NIV)

Oh, hurting friend! I wish you could know how much God loves you! It’s so easy to be convinced that God has forgotten you when you have cried out for a baby for so long, yet you’re still not pregnant. The holidays seem to intensify your struggle and make you so much more sensitive to the hurt. If the enemy whispers in your ear that God doesn’t love you, remember he is the Father of lies. If he--the Father of lies--says you are unloved, that is proof positive that you are cherished and desired!

In quite a paradoxical way, I believe God can even use your infertility to show you how much He loves you. The desire you have for a child is so great. You want nothing more than to have a child to love and nurture, and to see yourself in your child’s eyes. Your greatest wish is to provide for a child and teach a child all the great lessons of life. God, your Father, has the same great desires for you, His child. He wants nothing more than to have such a relationship with you. He so wants to love and nurture you, and to see Himself in you. He wants to provide for you and to teach you. Can you see the parallels? Let these truths show you the love God has for you. You are loved and desired by God, just as a child of your own is loved and desired by your own heart, even before conception.

His love for you is wide and long and high and deep. His love surpasses knowledge! It’s so massive, it’s mind boggling and literally incomprehensible! How could we possibly understand a love that is willing to sacrifice a Child on our behalf? God’s love for you is boundless, endless, measureless, exhaustless. He understands your desire for a child and feels the same. His love for you is overwhelming--even in the midst of infertility.

Hope

Hope

What exactly is hope? Is it positive thinking? Is it the same as faith? From a Biblical standpoint, hope is something certain, as of yet unrealized. It is something you look forward to with certainty, yet you have not yet attained. It is much like a reservation in a restaurant. You get dressed for dinner, drive to the restaurant, walk in the door and tell the host or hostess your name, fully expecting that a table will be ready for you at the appointed time. You expect that the dinner you request will be prepared and served and your hunger will be satisfied. You have no doubt or reason to believe that this chain of events will not be carried out as planned. Such is hope!

Has infertility taken your hope away? No test is too difficult, no financial setback too great if you have the hope of conceiving, but if you feel hopeless in your quest for a baby, despair can set in and it is easy to throw your hands up and give in.

Do you realize God is your partner in hope? The struggle you face with infertility may cause you to question whether God is on your side or if He has forgotten you. Does He care if I conceive? Does He care if I am successful in other areas of my life? If you want to know about God and how He feels about you, turn to His Word! Dive in to the pages of the book He wrote about Himself! See what He has to say about Himself and about you. See what He has to say about hope.

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4

Remember that Scripture is a source of great encouragement for you. God has given you His word to encourage you and give you hope! Read His word and find encouragement to help you with your battle with infertility!

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

God’s plans for you are full of hope. Full of certainty.

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. Psalm 42:5

You can place your hope in God--the certainty of God. He is unwavering. Even if your circumstances change every time you have an appointment with your doctor--a new diagnosis, a different medication, more questions. Hope in God--place your confidence in the certainty of who He is, and find help in the very presence of God.

I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. Psalm 130:5

Waiting is such a hard part of the infertility struggle. It seems as if your entire adult life has been nothing but waiting for a baby! As you wait, you can put your hope in the Lord and in His infallible word. Hope--something certain, yet unrealized. Wait for God’s perfect plan to be brought about in His perfect timing, whatever His perfect plan for your life is. Place your hope in His perfect plan for you as you wait for the Lord.

In hope against hope he (Abraham) believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, " So shall your descendants be." Romans 4:18

Abraham gave us a beautiful example of hope as he waited for a child! He believed in hope that God would do what He said He would and give him and Sarah a baby in their old age! God came through and Isaac was born! Abraham believed with certainty that God would give him a child, and God did! (By the way--what an encouraging story for those who need God to perform a healing miracle in their physical bodies!)

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. Romans 8:24-25
...rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,... Romans 12:12

Keep persevering in prayer! Keep praying for God’s will for your life and your family! Thank God for the hope He gives you. 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

It is our prayer that you will feel the peace of the Holy Spirit when you realize the hope you have from Heaven, that God is for you and not against you, and that God’s plan for your life is amazing!